My Unrecognizable Life

My life is unrecognizable. For a thousand different reasons. Exhibit A being the fact that I literally just sat here for an an entire minute just trying to conjure up the word ‘exhibit’ in my muddy head. All I could think of was… wait… now I forget the only word beginning with ‘e’ that filled my head for that entire minute that I couldn’t come up with the word ‘exhibit’.

Bah.

Do you see what I mean?

Exhibit B being the fact that I used to blog daily and now it feels like it’s one a month? What in the world?

Exhibit C. My house is entirely unorganized.

Exhibit D. My family gets fed the most questionable meals in the history of my care. If they get fed at all.

Exhibit E. I sleep.  A lot. Often 10 hours at night plus a two hour nap in the afternoon. And a few days ago I slept for nearly 36 hours straight, only waking to try to eat… and then puke. Repeat. I don’t think I’ve ever slept that much continually IN MY LIFE.

Exhibit F. I have been taking approximately NO photos of my cute kiddos in the past couple months. I used to take them daily.

Exhibit G. I have been a terrible friend. I am behind on emails. I am behind on cards. And I have told half a dozen friends living around the world that I will call them soon so we can catch up. But I can’t seem to do it. But I really want to! But I just can’ t seem to do it.

Exhibit H. I don’t even have a running to-do list that I follow. In a time like this you’d think I’d have lists tattooed to my limbs to complete my tasks in an orderly fashion. But I don’t. More like I do what has to be done the very moment it must be completed. Maybe. This concept is foreign to me. Seriously.

Who am I becoming?!

Okay. Exhibits A though H do have explanations. Good ones. Let’s switch to numbers now.

1. I am pregnant. And still very sick at 13.5 weeks. Blech.

2. It is (still) summer. Hot and so stinking humid right now.

3. I am starting a preschool. This was made a final decision on July 31st. That was 23 days ago. Now it is August 22nd and we open in 11 days. Yes folks. Who knew one could open a preschool in just one month IN AFRICA? DURING RAMADAN? AND EID?!! (Not to mention points 1 and 2) Oh my word. What was I thinking?

4. I am pregnant. Did I already mention that? Silly me.

5. I have two mini ‘helpers’ for which there is no play-school this past month. Hence… lots of ‘helping’ with whatever I am doing so as to make my job much easier. (Read… things take twice as long and are three times as frustrating). But I love my kids. And I’ll love your kids too. Send them to my preschool, okay? I’m a great person, very patient and great with kids. I promise.

What I’m saying here folks is that I’m not myself these days. I wish I had the time to blog through all my daily adventures with pregnancy and preschool-preparing and the cute antics of those lil’ helpers I was telling you about. There is so much to say these days but frankly there is just not much time to say it. I don’t like it, but it’s true.

I have dreams of sitting in my office at the preschool, the kids and teachers in the next room happily reading a story or learning to draw letters while I take a few moments to sit at my desk, sip a hot drink and write about this and that and generally get my life in order. There is NO puke bucket sitting next to me in this dream. And I am NOT sweating. And I feel like me. Emphasis on I feel like me.

One day. One day I will be myself again. Don’t give up on me, okay?