This is one of my weaknesses. It's bad. Really, really bad.
And by really, really bad... I mean really, really GOOD.
Mmmmnnn.
Many pinched pennies + Birthday money (thanks Mama and Daddy) + Christmas money (thanks again!) + stuff-sold-on-Ebay-money = new camera for Suz!! Whooo-hooo! Penny pinching pays off! (Old Irish Proverb)
HA! Just kidding. That's no Irish Proverb. But it should be. Who do you think I could talk to about that?...
Anyway, last night I was studying the instruction book of this new camera and learning all kinds of things. So I was taking shots of this and that (without getting my butt off the couch, mind you) and naturally I took a pictures of various things around me. One of them being the remote. And I have to say... I never thought that a picture of a TV remote sitting on a boppy pillow could look so neat ('neat' Suz?... all you can come up with is the word 'neat'? Geesh.) But I guess that is what a new camera can do for ya! It produces 'neat' photos!
:)
You be the judge...
Okay, okay. I know that a better composition would have been the remote NOT in the center of the frame. I'll do better next time. Promise.
Many more 'neat' photos to come on this blog...
A month since her birth... she's grown so much! And has started to smile (but not for the camera yet). Hopefully that post comes soon! For now, here she is relaxing on the couch next to me this morning.
I love her! I love her! Don't you?
Since sweet N was born and we are awake in the night again there has been a new wave of the middle-of-the-night-delirious comments from Mikey! (See previous posts here and here.) These do tend to keep me entertained as I force myself up to care for my daughter in those painful hours. Most of them I can't remember the next morning... but the latest one I didn't forget!
As I was getting myself arranged to nurse N, Mike turned over and looked at me with a face of compassion. I think he felt bad that I had to be up and he wanted to help. So he did what is only natural...
"Do you want me to feed her honey?"
"Um, well...thanks for the offer Mikey, but I think I'll go ahead and take care of it."
HA! Such a sweet offer. If only he were capable.
I wonder what he would have done if I would have said yes...
We found out today that it looks like we're gonna get our visas to return to our home on the other side of the world. Halleluiah! Um, I think. Yeah! Well... mostly. Right? I'm glad! Sorta. Yes, I am!!
We are really ready to go back. We feel like our time there is not done, and we feel especially honored to be getting in during a time where many are leaving instead. This is what we've been hoping for, praying for, planning for. But oh my goodness... it doesn't mean it's easy. Today the thoughts and challenges and worries hit me like a brick wall...
This lifestyle is so emotionally complicated to me. I just came up with that term myself... but I think it's fairly accurate. Conflicting thoughts and feelings have taken up residence in my heart, and sorting through them and making sense of them is difficult.
I have REALLY enjoyed this extended break in the States. Not that it's been much of a break... it's been very busy! But it has been wonderful. Marvelous. Joyous. I was so blessed to be here in the summer. To see my nephew's baptism and have family vacation with my husband's family. I was so blessed to be here in fall. To see the leaves change color, to feel the refreshing cool temperatures, to watch football (not over the internet), to celebrate Thanksgiving with friends, to settle into our cozy home downtown, to be apart of our unique community each day, and to make sweet preparations for my daughter. I was so blessed to be here in winter. To see beautiful snowfall, and decorate my home for Christmas, to have fun visits with my family, and to deliver my baby girl in a lovely hospital. I have not taken any of these things for granted! This season has been a gift that God ordained for us!
But the danger all along, I've known, is that the degree to which I enjoy this country and everything that comes with it is the same degree to which I may miss it when I'm gone. I have been aware of that from the start but I refused to let it hold me back from REALLY enjoying life during this time. And so I have enjoyed it. Really, really enjoyed it.
And now we're looking ahead to leaving this place again, and I'm feeling that crazy flood of emotions. The emotional complications. Time to put a 'pause' on this life and fly to the other side of the world and hit the 'play' button on that life. Sounds weird. And it's not entirely true. But that is pretty much how it feels.
I'm willing. I'm even a bit excited to be challenged to the core again. As I've heard it put... "Hard is good and easy rots the soul" And it is gonna be hard. It's gonna be hard to pack up all my belongings and put them in storage again. It's gonna be hard to go to community worship for a last time. It's gonna be hard to say goodbye to friends that have grown ever more dear over these months. And it's gonna be IMPOSSIBLE to watch the grandparents say goodbye to their grandkids. again.
But we'll do it. We will "exult and triumph in our troubles and rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that pressure and affliction and hardship produce patient and unswerving endurance. And endurance develops maturity of character. And character produces joyful and confident hope of eternal salvation. Such hope never disappoints or deludes or shames us, for God's love has been poured out in our hearts through the Holy Spirit Who has been given to us." Romans 5:3-5 (Amplified Bible) I am so glad that this is the true word of God! All this is not in vain... oh my my friends... it's not in vain!! For we have been given the gift of God's love.
So... here I am Jesus... ready to jump into the 'hard' again. I know You're with me. And I know that it's not all hard. There are so many great joys in the midst of it. It's just I'm trying to get my mind wrapped around it again. I'm willing to deal with all this emotional complication. And how glad I am that you are so close by my side through it all...
