I Walk the Line (Guest Post by Pam)

This is my first guest post ever! Pam is a friend who lives in the same city as I. She is also a (published!) writer and is able to put thoughts and experiences into words in way that strike such a chord with me. She often leaves me laughing hysterically thinking "ha!! That is so funny... that [enter any number of awkward cultural observations here] is so true!! Glad I'm not the only one..." or nodding my head and thinking "Yeah... I get it. I'm there. I just didn't know how to express it". I have trouble putting some aspects of this unique lifestyle into words, but Pam does it so well.

This is the case with the following post written in the midst of some political and economic insecurity (which is actually kind of the norm around here).

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You'll have opportunity to hum the tune at the end of this note, but please give me a few moments to explain how "I Walk the Line" here in this life overseas. I realize that in many ways I have the same responsibilities here in [this country] that I did in the US. Dishes, laundry, groceries, errands are all still a part of my day (which reinforces my very high-brow philosophy of "wherever you go, there you are").

Still as I'm going through my normal day I also have thoughts such as,

"I wonder if I have enough pages in my passport..."
"If they demonstrate today, will that affect school attendance?"
"Will a full tank of fuel be enough to get us to a neighboring border?"
"I wonder why all those policemen are congregating near the airport today."
"Does the banning of imports include Diet Coke and brown sugar?"

Somehow my day still progresses into a form of routine, but it is wearing. I recently asked a couple friends who've lived this life for a while, "So when do I stop feeling so tired all the time?" They smiled and said, "You don't."

At least I know I'm not sporting some odd medical condition, nor do I consider any longer getting brochures for a retirement center in my home town. (Sometimes it's necessary to go to bed at 8:30 pm.) It's just part of living here. Learning the rhythm, pace and even pressurized living conditions are part of walking the line between effectiveness and total implosion.

Granted, I very much hope to lean toward the first rather than the latter, but there are days... Yet in those moments I can honestly say that God has spoken to me in clear, poignant whispers:

"I am with you."
"You can trust me."
"I hear your prayer."
"I am developing your character."
"I love you, daughter."

Yes, I walk the line; a line of utter, boring normalcy and unpredictable, government-shaking anomalies. However, I think Johnny Cash sums it up best so I'll let his lyrics speak for me.


I Walk the Line by Johnny Cash

I keep a close watch on this heart of mine
I keep my eyes wide open all the time.
I keep the ends out for the tie that binds
because you're mine,
I walk the line

I find it very, very easy to be true
I find myself alone when each day is through
Yes, I'll admit I'm a fool for you
Because you're mine,
I walk the line

As sure as night is dark and day is light
I keep you on my mind both day and night
And happiness I've known proves that it's right
Because you're mine,
I walk the line

You've got a way to keep me on your side
You give me cause for love that I can't hide
For you I know I'd even try to turn the tide
Because you're mine,
I walk the line