Whimpering Down the Hall

It was past bedtime and I heard my boy whimpering down the hall. I hopped off the couch, tread the path to the bedroom door and found my boy on his stomach crying to himself. I dropped to knees and instantly knew that this was no bedtime-stalling ploy.

Something was wrong.

I lifted him to my lap and wrapped him tight into my arms. With my words I gently drew out his worry.

"Mama, I don't want to die."

Oh my. Can a parent ever be ready for this moment?

My sweet, precious little boy. Scared of dying. So innocent, so fun, so full of childhood joy, yet aware of the reality that our lives here on Earth come to an end.

In between his sobs he told me more. I shushed him, rocked him, held him tighter. I told him all the things I could to calm him. I told him that he doesn't have to worry. That if we believe that Jesus died for our sins then we never actually die, we just go to a better place. I told him about heaven. And about how Mommy and Daddy will be there. I told him that he'll get to be with Jesus forever if he believes. I told him that most people are really old when they die and that he is so young still. I told him that life after we die is way better than life before we die. I said it all. I said it again. I breathed the reality of the words that I spoke. I wished I could say it better. I wished I could make him understand.

We prayed.

He calmed.

I laid him ever so tenderly back on his pillow like the fragile and beautiful and valuable gift he is. Then he asked for socks cause his toes get cold if they get out of the blanket. I put socks on him and kissed his toes. I tucked him in tight. I kissed his teary face ten thousand times.

As I sat there stroking his face for a few moments, heart bursting with love for him, I thought about how thankful I am to be able to hope towards heaven. How blessed we are. How un-deservedly blessed I am to know the love of Jesus in a personal way. To have assurance of life after death. To have someone loving and real and involved in my life to put my hope in. He is so much more than this world has to offer.

I have an imminent joy-unfathomable God-filled forever to put this earthly life and all of it's temporary struggles into perspective.

May I live in that reality and the reality that many... most in this world cannot say the same. May I play my part. May The One who died instead of me be pleased with the way I lived...